Many women have been wounded in their relationship with their mothers. Our emotional needs have gone unmet because we unconsciously took on the role of our mother’s saviour, ally, carer, friend or confidante in childhood.
Caring for our mother’s needs as a child has had a significant impact on our experience of ourselves. And our relationship with ourselves.
Many of us women have grown up believing that we have to earn the right to be loved by pleasing, over-giving and constantly working hard. That we have to constantly prove our worthiness to others through actions. We are taught that we are only worthy as much as we fulfil the roles we are given, regardless of our needs, feelings and desires.
We have internalised the belief that we are not worthy to put ourselves first. That we should not say no when someone needs us or asks us for something. We must meet them and take care of them. Even when we are exhausted, tired and fed up. Even when we have nothing left to give…
We have not learned how to respect our boundaries, take care of our needs in a nurturing way and love ourselves unconditionally.
Or to put it another way, we have not learned how to be a nurturing mother to ourselves.
We become a nurturing mother to ourselves when we choose to listen to our inner whispers.
But in order to hear ourselves, it is important, even necessary, to ask ourselves the following question every day:
How do I feel?
- I feel tired.
- I am hungry.
- I feel angry.
- I feel lonely.
- I feel numb.
- I feel misunderstood.
- I feel unheard.
- I have no inspiration.
- I feel that my challenges are bigger than me.
By recognising how we feel, we learn to understand our unmet needs.
This helps us to take responsibility and take care of them through various nurturing actions:
- I can sleep or rest.
- I can prepare a healthy meal.
- I can go for a walk in nature.
- I can lie in the sun.
- I can hug myself lovingly.
- I can breathe through difficult emotions.
- I can ask a trusted person for advice.
- I can write down my thoughts and feelings in a journal.
- I can go to the gym.
- I can say no.
- I can ask for support and help.
- I can take a day off work or a sick leave.
- I can do something enjoyable, fun and playful.
- I can meditate.
- I can read an inspiring book.
- I can listen to soothing music.
By doing these things, we are meeting our needs in a healthy way.
When we treat ourselves with care, kindness and love, we become a nurturing mother to ourselves. And our wounded inner little girl finally has the mother she has always needed. In this way, we become more and more gentle, tender, respectful, loving and compassionate towards ourselves.
The feminine energy of nurturing, acceptance, vulnerability and intuitiveness is healing our wounds. It nourishes the child within us, hungry for warm connection. Nurturing care. Unwavering protection. A safe haven. A loving shelter. A compassionate presence. To be seen and heard.
When the child within us is nourished, provided for and reassured, we are transformed from helpless little girls in adult bodies into empowered women who shine with dignity in their glorious feminine power.
Today’s world needs such women to transform into a safe place where we will all live in peace, love, harmony and abundance.
So let us allow ourselves to be lovingly nurtured, nourished and healed.
First and foremost, ourselves.
In this way, we will be giving to others from a loving inner fullness that will nourish our relationships with genuine love and connectedness.
